


found and lost

by anon_drabble



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 23:22:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16544279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_drabble/pseuds/anon_drabble
Summary: request: what if mc and Jihyun/Saeran broke up, like if mc got fed up of competing to prove herself better than Rika and being third wheel in her own relationship in v’s case. I don’t really know about saeran, but it really intrigued me how he would react.this time is saeran’s side. this one i enjoyed. i’m sorry, i totally used this as self-indulgence but i do hope you enjoy it!





	found and lost

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my tumblr: https://anon-drabble.tumblr.com  
> if you're able, i definitely recommend you visit the tumblr where i do reblog prompts like these and also post additional content like much shorter fluff pieces and headcanons.

“Soon, MC. I’ve almost tracked him down.”

“Yes, Saeran,” I replied. His eyes were glued to the screen. Tracking his brother. It was an important job. It impressed me that he tracked Seven – I mean, Saeyoung – down so quickly. Saeran was truly impressive. And kind. Intelligent. Handsome. He used to focus that laser-sharp focus on me. At first, maybe it suffocated me. But that was back then. Now, I couldn’t manage to keep his attention on me for more than a few minutes. He was so focused on finding his brother. And that made sense. Saeyoung and Saeran were brothers and family held a special meaning to those two. I couldn’t step between them. “I’m glad you’ll soon be reunited.”

He didn’t answer, completely focused on his computers. As always. I turned and left Saeran alone. He didn’t move. He never noticed when I wasn’t there. Not anymore. The days of phone calls of him crying, “I miss you” were long gone. Was it for the better? It wasn’t healthy for him to obsess over me like that. So maybe it was okay. I closed the door quietly behind me. I’d make some dinner for us. He’d most likely eat at his desk to continue working and I’d eat alone. I made a simple stew. Something that would nourish him. I tried not to think about the breakfast he’d once made for me. It had been delicious. I couldn’t remember if I’d even told him how much I liked it. So much happened at that time. Had I ever truly told him anything? Or had I been so focused on getting out of there and bringing him with me that I forgot?

When the stew was ready, I knocked on the door. No answer. I opened it, and left the stew beside him. “I made some food for you, Saeran. I hope you take the time to eat it,” I said. He looked up and I met his eyes for the first time in days. He looked tired. “Do you need to rest? Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

He smiled but not really. I mean the corners of his lips turned up but there was no emotion behind the expression. No feeling. It was blank and void. I smiled back. “Thank you, MC. This’ll be over soon. I’m almost there.” His eyes refocused on the computer.

“I’m happy for you, Saeran,” I said. And I was. His attention was gone again. But I’d been lucky to get that empty smile from him.

I left him alone again. I briefly thumbed through a magazine. But I quickly grew bored of it. I thought of when I first met him, when I knew Saeran as Ray. The sweet boy who wanted nothing more than to please me. I quickly learned how dangerous the situation was. Even before V appeared to save me, I knew. I pretended not to, though. Because I needed to help Saeran. He was trapped, brainwashed. I arrogantly thought I could save him from RIka’s influence. But in the process, I learned more about Saeran. He wasn’t just the innocent, shy boy who knew nothing but worshipping those around him. There lurked a darker side within him. And past that, the Saeran I knew now. Trying to save him, to help him believe in himself, I truly fell in love. I’m not quite sure if he still loved me only because his persona, Ray, had been so devoted. Maybe his feelings were just leftovers from him. But when we had escaped, in those days, his eyes would look into mine and he’d truly see me. I knew that. During that time, I knew he loved me.

But I must have gone too far, again. I encouraged him to reconcile with Saeyoung. I knew that was what he secretly wanted as well. So I pushed him to help. But finding Saeyoung proved to be no easy task. Far more difficult than simply hacking the RFA messenger. It started because I asked. But now, Saeran was desperate to save his brother. It was a good thing. I wanted to see Saeyoung safe. To see the two reunited. To see Saeran smile with true happiness. It would happen when he found Saeyoung. But I knew it wouldn’t happen with me. I was important to him but I couldn’t make him smile like that. But it was okay. I had accepted that. Mostly.

I wiped away my tears, stood, and went to the kitchen to clean up dinner. Saeran would likely be at the computer all night again. I made sure everything was spotless. What else could I do? It was early to go to bed but there was nothing else to do. Next to the bed, Saeran had hung his jacket over a chair. I idly traced the threads, biting my lip. I missed him. I picked up the jacket and brought it to bed with me. I held onto it like it could still possibly contain some essence of Saeran. I cried into my pillow until I fell asleep, still cradling Saeran’s coat.

I didn’t wake up when he came into the room. I never moved as he lightly kissed my temple and pulled a blanket over me. I didn’t feel him brush his thumb along my tear-stained cheeks. My ears never heard his whispered apology. I slept through him leaving the room again to watch those computers that captivated him more than I did.

When I woke up the next day, I didn’t really remember falling asleep without a blanket or holding that jacket. I just woke up and prepared myself for another day. I peeked into the office where Saeran was furiously typing.

“Good morning,” I said softly. There was no reply. So I repeated myself, louder. Still nothing. I left Saeran alone. My breakfast that morning was toast. Nothing big. Afterwards, I joined Saeran. I couldn’t hack but I could read and help in small ways. We worked all day. We actually made progress, enough for Saeran to call Jumin.

“We’re almost ready. Maybe just another day,” he said into the phone. I watched his eyes gleam with an almost frenzied excitement. He was practically buzzing, so eager to see his brother. I smiled for him. It was good to see him so happy. He and Jumin discussed their plans some more. Of course Saeran himself would be going to save Saeyoung, along with help from Jumin. I’d be going, too. Thankfully that was never even a question. I wanted to go and I would.

Saeran was right and before it had been even three days, we felt ready enough to make a move. Solid plans were made. I packed for myself and Saeran. We brought everything we might need. Saeran believed Saeyoung was still alive, though I didn’t know if he had any evidence behind that. It made some sense to keep him alive, though. Especially since we believed he was taken to lure Saeran out of hiding. We knew it to be a trap. We planned to walk into the trap and then be able to walk back out again.

I can’t really say what happened. A lot happened. Too much. We saved Saeyoung, and his… maid? His friend? The one called Vanderwood. I think we just got lucky. But we got them out. And we got home and then we slept. Me, Saeran, Saeyoung, and Vanderwood. We all slept for days. And when I woke up, I couldn’t remember much. I remembered driving a long way in one of Jumin’s cars. I remember finding Saeyoung and Vanderwood shackled crudely. The trap was obvious. How stupid did he think we were? But Saeyoung and Vanderwood were not helpless. It seemed Saeyoung’s jokes about being a secret agent of sorts were true and he was far more capable than even I gave him credit for. Thanks to him and Vanderwood being so quick and able, we all escaped. Saeyoung and Vanderwood had superficial injuries. Saeran was amazing and he got away without a scratch. I didn’t tell him I had been injured and he never noticed the blood on my clothes. He spent the ride back with Saeyoung, though they didn’t talk. Like I said, after that, we all slept. Caught up on all the sleepless nights.

When we woke up, I met with Saeyoung. Saeran was still resting. I talked about what had happened between me and Saeran.

“I’m so glad he had you, MC. Thank you. I think you two in love will be good for him,” Saeyoung said.

I blushed but didn’t answer that. I would love Saeran, of course. But now Saeyoung was back. “It’d be good for you two to have time together now, right? You must have a lot to talk about.”

“We do. But will Saeran even talk to me? I abandoned him.”

“Saeran knows now that you didn’t. He knows you didn’t actually betray him. It may still hurt him but he knows it wasn’t your fault. You both believed lies and that’s what led to you being apart for so long.” I gave Saeyoung a brave smile.

“I want to talk to him. But can you stay here a while longer, MC? It’ll be easier with you here with him, I think.”

I nodded but I didn’t necessarily think Saeyoung was right. “Of course. Now that we found you, I don’t think Saeran and I need to worry about being separated.” Nothing could forcefully separate us now. Nothing would pry us apart.

When Saeran woke up, I was with him. “Good morning,” I said with a kiss and a smile. There were color in his cheeks again. It looked like he’d come back to life.

“How are you?” he asked.

I smiled and ignored the sting from my wound. It was bandaged and would heal but I’d bear a scar for a long, long while. “I’m fine! I’m so glad this is all done and I can see you and Saeyoung reunited.”

“Saeyoung is awake? Is he well? Did he ask for anything? How are his injuries?” So much concern for Saeyoung. I brushed it aside. As always.

“He’s awake. I talked with him, filled him in about what we knew. Vanderwood left but I didn’t think you’d mind that. Saeyoung agreed to stay with us here for a few days. So you two can slowly get to know each other.”

“It’ll be weird, won’t it?” he asked, strangely vulnerable. He hadn’t shown me this weak side in a long time. I took his hand. “I feel like I still know him. Because I remember our childhood. But also because I watched those chatrooms. I watched him when he was Seven and not Saeyoung. Which one is the real one? For that matter, which one is the real me?” Saeran looked so nervous and uncertain.

“All of them?” I said with a small smile. “I mean that a lot of Saeyoung is probably the brother you remember. But he’s also 707. That wasn’t totally a lie or an act. But he’s still the doting brother. I’m certain of that.” I met Saeran’s eyes. “And as for you, all of you are the real you. Every part of you makes up the Saeran before me now. Ray, Unknown, even the little boy Saeran. You’re all him. I think Saeyoung is worried. You’ve been watching him and he had no idea. You have more of an idea of what to expect than he does.”

“And I have you,” Saeran replied softly.

I blushed, my cheeks going dark quickly. “Yes. You have me,” I agreed. It felt unfair for him to attack me like that when my guard was down. What made it worse was that while the words were there, they were empty. He relied on me but we both knew he no longer needed me.

But we went out and confronted Saeyoung. It was awkward at first. No one knew how to act around anyone. I was the middle ground and they both used me to communicate with each other. But by the afternoon of the second day, they were having conversations. I was able to leave them alone to make meals for us. And after a week, they were even starting to be able to laugh and sometimes, briefly, talk about the past. By that time, I was merely there. No longer contributing but a presence.

I told Saeran he should have some time alone with Saeyoung. That even though they both felt comfortable around me, surely there were some things they were avoiding talking about while I was there. I told him I had a place to go, that I would be back when he felt he and Saeyoung had talked enough. I told him all that with a smile. He hesitated and argued. A little. But it was easy to convince him. He knew he had a good deal to work out with Saeyoung, after all. Maybe he thought I just didn’t want to be there for that. But that wasn’t true. I would have stayed.

I told him I loved him, that I would see him again. I don’t think he realized I was lying. But when I said goodbye to Saeyoung, Saeyoung held my gaze a few extra seconds. He recognized what was happening. I could tell Saeyoung disagreed, too. In those seconds, he argued with me. He wanted me to stay. But he couldn’t say anything in front of Saeran, so instead he fought with me in silence. I merely smiled at him, then at Saeran. Gave Saeran one last kiss.

That was the last time I saw anyone from the RFA. I left Saeran in their care. His love for me wasn’t true. Not anymore. It had been infatuation with Ray. Obsession with the darker Saeran. Then I was just a helpful presence to him.

Or so I believed. I didn’t know about all those nights he came into the room and whispered how much he loved me. I didn’t know about his awkwardness in showing such a raw side of himself, a side not even he knew existed.

I left him, never suspecting how much he truly loved me. He let me go, and didn’t follow, because he thought I didn’t love him.

We were both wrong.


End file.
